Hello Beautiful Readers..!!!!!!
This is the first time when I am writing an article for a Blog. I am very much curious to know all your feedback about my post on Bengali Wedding and Rituals.Before heading towards Post, First I wanted to thank Preetha for bringing up such a lovely initiative “Bridal Sutra”
for us. I appreciate her efforts towards this. I feel great to read about different Religions Wedding, Customs and Rituals. So lets now head towards post but let me give u small introduction of myself I am a Bengali Hindu Girl, Born and Brought up in Delhi. Presently staying at Kolkata. I met with my Life Partner in Kolkata itself we use use to work for same Company. He was Senior to me. Initially we were Friends and then Love got stuck in between us..so at last we left with Marriage…we got married on 03rd May 2012…
Now coming to the post, Bengali Hindu Wedding includes many rituals which last for several days. But as the Generation is changing with time, so now the Rituals have been cut short into few days affair.
The Bengali Hindu Wedding can be divided into Three parts :
1) Pre- wedding Rituals
3) Post-Wedding Ritual
Pre- Wedding Rituals
This is the first step towards Wedding, This actually takes place in different days in Brides and Grooms own place where Parents and all close relatives give Aashirvaad by sprinkling Husked Rice and Trefoil on their heads and giving them Gold Ornaments and Gifts as a token of their Love and acceptance. Now as changing times and lifestyles, to cut short the event which happens at each one’s different place,now it takes places on the same day at same place with Bride and Groom present with Parents and Close relatives. This happened in my wedding too. There is no such “Ring Exchange” ceremony takes place in Bengali Wedding but gaining popularity nowadays the Groom presents a “Ring” to the Bride in front of all parents, relatives and friends. This is now trending as “Engagement”. My hubby gifted me Engagement Ring on our “Aashirvaad” Day.
This is our pic:
I love this ceremony. This is the Ceremony which happens before prior to the wedding. In this the relatives, friends, colleagues of the bride and the groom separately call them at their house and offer their favourite dishes, gifts, accessories etc. of their choices.All the love and affection been poured to brides and grooms.This ritual is been coming from long through our ancestors. Nowadays it has been a part of celebration where at one place all the relative join and give feast to The Bride and The Grooms separately.
This puja is been offered before the wedding to the honour the ancestors of the Bride and the Groom. This puja is performed by Priest by placing the idol of God Narayana. This is also called as “Narayna Puja”.
Wedding Day Rituals
At the dawn on the day of Wedding, A group of Married ladies feed the The Bride and The Groom a dish made with Rice, Sandesh (Sweet) and Curd. At this time the Bride has to wear a Red Bordered White or Yellow Saree and the Groom has to wear dhoti.This is only meal which He/she has to take and fast for the rest of the day.
“Gaye Holud” ( Haldi Ceremony)
Before the “Gaye holud” Ceremony, One of the most Important Ceremony is “Sankha and Paula Porano” ( Paula means Red Color Bangle and Sankha means White color Bangle) where the Sankha Maker is paid not for the Bangles but as a Shagun for the Marriage.
Now coming to “Gaye Holud” There is One ceremony each for the Bride and the Groom, For the bride’s gaye holud, the groom’s family- except groom goes to Brides home along with Holud Paste , Brides Trousseau, Gifts , Sweets and A whole Big Fish which is decorated like a Bride with Pan Filling in the mouth called “Paner Khilli”. This is said that a bride cannot take bathe until and unless she has been applied Groom’s Body Holud. It is followed by Bathe which includes the water which is taken from near by pond at the dawn on the day of Wedding.After which The Saree which The bride wears has to be given to “Nain” (Barber’s wife). It is called a “Punarjanam” of the Girl.
Now comes to Most important that Wedding or “Biye” in Bengali. As the wedding is conducted by The Brides family, The Groom comes to the Mandap and is gifted by Dhoti, Flower Mala, Topor and a Golden Ring. The groom has to wear all the things which has been offered to him and sit on wooden seat called peedi. Then the Bride is carried on another “peedi” by her brothers and other relatives. She has to hold two “Paan” to hide her face. At this time she has to take seven rounds around her husband, This is called ” Saath Pakh” (7 circles). Then both the Bride and The Groom finally look at each other. This is called “Shubho Drishti”.
Then comes the “Malabadal”,the Bride and The Groom exchange their “Mala” (flower Garland) with each other.
The Brides Paternal Uncle takes left hand of the Bride and place it on the right hand of the Groom this is called “kanyadaan” or “Sampradaan”
Then the Bride and the Groom both have to sit in front of the Fire and speak mantras along with Priest as it is said the “Agni” is the divine witness of the Marriage. After this the Couple has to take “Saat Pheras” around the fire.
Later after the pheras, “Anjali” has to offer to the fire. Here The Brother of the Bride gives handful of puffed rice in the Bride’s hand and the Groom has to stand close to her holding her hand from the back and extend their arms near to the fire. They then together pour the puffed rice to the fire.
Lastly comes the “Sindur Daan”, The groom applies the “Sindur” on the maang of the Bride. A saree that is called as “Lojjabostro” given to the bride by the grooms family to cover the head.
Post- Wedding Rituals
My marriage was little different, we didn’t followed this ritual as we did this on wedding day itself.This is an age old tradition, where a small puja is done and again “sindur” is offered to the Bride with other things for daily needs.
The most saddest part of every girl’s life. I think its a state of mixed emotions where u feel sad because you are leaving your house and parents as well as you are welcoming your new life with your Hubby. I don’t like what we Bengalis have a tradition for “Bidaay”, Here when a girl leaves her fathers house, he has to repay all what his father spent on her in his entire life by throwing Rice to her Mother’s “Anchal” and in doing so she cannot look back and continue towards with her Husband towards her in-laws house.
Then it comes “Reception” part which is in Post Wedding Ritual. I will share another post on that.